Earl Yorke

Looking for creativity?

…don’t look here… blech. All I do these days is post random stuff that makes me laugh.

Check out the blog of one of my good friends, Tina. Here is a poster that she did for “What is Graphic Design?” on veerle.duoh.com:

See more from Tina on her blog: tinasblog.wagooh.net.

My renewed and enhanced ambition. That’s what I am thankful for.

It has become a tradition for me to put up a post on this blog every Thanksgiving that describes what I am thankful for each year. Any of you who regularly visit this page know this very well, and I enjoy reading about what you are thankful for in your comments. It’s funny how just a simple name of a holiday will prompt people to acknowledge that, even with all of the bullshit that might be plaguing their lives, there is atleast one good thing that they appreciate about their own existence. That’s why this is one of my favorite holidays… that and the fact that it is the one day of the year that I have every excuse to stuff my face with food.

Anyway, getting back to my ambition… what I am thankful for; I am going back to school this winter! In addition to that, I finally landed a job where I have some real responsibility. I am the new freight manager at a local Dollar Tree, which might not sound like much, but you guys have no idea how much people bust their asses in that place. I work 5AM to 1PM, five days a week now, and I’ll tell you that those eight hours each day go by so fast. I don’t have a single moment to sit and breathe. We are going out straight from the moment we get in there until the moment we leave. It’s nuts, but very rewarding since at the end of the day I can actually see what I’ve accomplished.

Moving on to the school thing. I’ll be going to the York County Community College, starting this January. I have already been accepted, and I go in next month to enroll for my classes. I’m thinking of balancing computer-related courses with some creative writing, but the latter will not be my main focus unfortunately. I have to think practical, and I have to acknowledge the possibility that my work may never get out there. It is more important that I focus on creating a good foundation for my family’s future. I’m not saying that I’m not going to focus all of my free time on my dream… it’s still very much alive! In fact, you can all look forward to some posts about Trea’Loong: Fann’s Ascent in the near future.

That’s all for now. As always, I hope that you are all relaxed on this day and enjoying the time — dysfunctional as it most likely is — with your families.

[EDIT] … I guess that I don’t have the following that I once had. The current time is 11:09 PM on Thursday, November 29th. Is anyone coming here anymore?

…I just wanted to touch upon something that I’m sure alot of you have noticed recently about this weblog. I’ve shifted things in the past few months to not only follow my writing, but to also follow my views and feelings on certain things that I feel are important… both to me, and to everything else. This has taken the form of a few new categories that I have added, and I would like to discuss the relevance of such categories here… now.

My Dreams… A Record

Perhaps the most important of such additions here. My dream journal is a means for me to share with my current and future friends and fans the things that go on in my head at night. While they might be a bit screwed up at times (see my next two posts after the one for Ryan), they are important for me to purge here so that you all will later understand where my inspiration comes from. This particular category also helps me to get things out of my head that I cannot place in my regular work; not yet, atleast.

Current Events

Steve Irwin’s death inspired this category. You see, sometimes things happen that shake me so forcefully that I have to write about them. Up until now I just talked with Dina and my family about such things, but I have found recently that nothing compares to the soothing powers of writing… not to me atleast.

George W. Bush’s address on September 11, 2006 was what set this category in stone for me. This is MY BLOG. My journal for the public. If I am to be successful to myself (and in general), I must let the world know what I think. I hope that someday, if I am published, my fans will look back on these writings and say, “Damn right, Earl!” Even if they don’t, they will atleast know where I came from… what I believe.

Completely Random and Pointless

One of my favorites! This category was born from one single post! A post that deserved no less than to have a category named after it. It’s funny when I think about it. It was so stupid, and yet it made me laugh more than I have in a long time. C’mon… two cats in an octagon match, reffed by none other than Joe Rogan?! He’s crazy…

While no posts since have been placed in that category, don’t think for a second that I won’t post more!!! I’m just waiting for the right things to fill it… to justify that category as that octagon match did. Hehehe.

Inspiration

This category has been here for quite some time, and I place this post there because of one simple truth: I find inspiration everywhere. I’ve been detached for quite some time, and this is because I was dealing with a part of my life that I let go of more than a year ago. I’ve gained weight because of it, and I thought that I had lost some of my obsessive qualities as well. Have any of you ever heard of Adderall? I was addicted to it when I started this blog, and for a long time after I gave it up I thought I would never write again. Well, that is my greatest inspiration of all; the fact that I let it go, and didn’t write for eight months afterward. But I came back without it, and do you know why? I have a dream, and it is not dictated by some drug. I am sharing this with all of you because I believe in myself. I am inspired… and I will go places one day… without a drug as a crutch.

There you have it. I have shed everything in one post…

and I will keep writing.

Once again I am finding myself working at The Oarweed Restaurant in Ogunquit, Maine. It is the same place that I was exactly one year ago. Though I was happy to leave that place with the promise of a “real job” and more money as a Loan Officer with Aegis Lending, I now find that there is freedom to be found there. Perhaps it was the unending stress and anxiety that I found at both Aegis Lending and the office I worked at just prior to coming to the Oarweed (I can’t say the name of it on this site or the paranoid owners of the place will sue me… seriously), but a part of me has really relaxed!

I’ve also been working at Dirigo Mortgage as a Loan Officer. I probably wouldn’t have gone to the Oarweed at all if it wasn’t strictly commision-based pay there. I need time to build up my pipeline (loans that I am working on closing) before I can make Dirigo my full-time job. So, for now, the Oarweed is paying the bills. It’s not so bad having to work two jobs and sacrifice some 65 hours of my time each week. I’ve been reunited with so many great friends by going back to that restaurant, and every time I punch in there I feel like I’m going to a party. It’s not work at all…

I suppose that until my schedule calms down a bit I will have to place my various writing projects on hold. The Dominance Flush screenplay is coming along very well, and I’ve been taking alot of notes concerning other ideas that have popped into my head. I’ve been having quite a few disturbing dreams lately, and many of my ideas have spawned from them. I am probably the only person on this planet who enjoys nightmares… thoroughly.

After weighing the consequences of the next idea that I have quite heavily, I am pleased to reveal that I intend to begin discussions of my dreams here in addition to my regular, goal-related entries. This is for anybody who cares to help me analyze them. I know that I can count on a few: Dina, Tina, Nage_Wannabe (no there will be no further Bloodlines excerpts), and perhaps my loving “Grandma.” I am not afraid of having my ideas stolen because I’ll not be sharing them here… only my dreams that the ideas are based on.

…Look for another post during the next few days.

…I hope that you all have enjoyed this as much as I have…

My one true love is writing, but second to that comes music. Though I am unable to play any instrument other than the jug, I listen to music religiously. Owning over 200 compact discs I am never without music playing when alone or entertaining friends. Alternative is my favorite music genre. Unfortunately I am still awaiting the “return of rock.” Right now the music scene is dominated by fairy boy-bands like the Backstreet Boys and N’sync… I want to vomit. My favorite bands of all time are “The Dandy Warhols,” “Marilyn Manson,” “Letters to Cleo,” and “Dido.” These are four very different bands, yet they all help me in my life.

My ambitions are as follows:

*TO BECOME A PUBLISHED NOVELIST
*TO GRADUATE COLLEGE

The only two fears that I can think of that I have are:

*ARACHNOPHOBIA (FEAR OF SPIDERS)
*BUSOPHOBIA (FEAR OF LETTING OTHERS DRIVE YOUR CAR)

Though I have not necessarily discussed much with you in this letter, Earl, I feel that the topics that I did discuss were very important and the most worthy of your attention in ten years. See you then.

Sincerely,

Earl Yorke
Age 19
YHS Senior

Well… that’s it. Comment if you wish. I have let you all into my soul on this one… the letter was meant only for me to read.

Mwa ha ha ha… will it ever end? Not in this entry, but definately… maybe in the next one! I think that this next part is my favorite one off all. It addresses my writing back then! I’m not going to blab on about it for too long as I am excited to get it up on here, but know that I am very happy that this portion is finally making it onto the site.

Jeff, I hope that you can appreciate this as well. Back to the letter:

I am sad to say that I have very few strengths right now in my life, Earl. My ability to express my thoughts in fictional works of literature is probably the most important of the few that I do have. Ezeth, my most favorite character in any of my manuscripts is the most significant example of this ability. He is my dark side, he is my evil, he is my anger, and he is the side of me that others seldom see. It is through Ezeth that I am able to show myself that I can be in touch with my own dark side and that I can co-exist with it in some variety of equilibrium. Ezeth is my strength, he is the writer within me; without that all I would have would be my bitterly honest personality which, like my books, tends to upset people quite frequently… but you and I both know that I love it!

While I have few strengths, Earl, my weaknesses are numerous. The most significant of all of these weaknesses is the intensity of my emotions, which can sometimes have bad effects on my mental stability. I seem to always feel bad right now, and this is not a very good thing. It is a feeling that I get in my chest that is so intensely uncomfortable that it feels like someone is driving a railroad spike into my heart. I get this feeling of anxiety when something unexpected (and almost usually undesirable) happens. I’d have to say that my other weakness is my addiction to cigarettes, but I don’t need to go into detail with that to convince you of how bad it is.

My one true love is writing…

There isn’t too much left, but I’ll save it for another night. As always I thank those of you who have joined me in my jouney… it is your support that keeps me going, and I could never have gotten this far without you. You know who you are… you are anyone who is reading this now. By the way, if you happen to be new here, and don’t know who Ezeth is… go ahead and click on his name above if you are open-minded. Welcome to my family.

Okay, not to toot my own horn here, but this letter that my mother found is the coolest thing I’ve ever read! It’s like a look into the life of a best friend that I had parted ways with long ago… I’m going to drag this post series on for atleast two more entries! Sorry if you’re excited to see the way it closes right away, but I seriously doubt that there are many people that are reading this anyway! Here we go (*open mind*):

My attitude toward religion, Earl, is the most dramatic of all. I teach a Catechism class at Saint Christopher’s Catholic church, I have read the bible cover-to-cover twice, my grandmother is very religious, and yet I have trouble believing in God. I would like to recall a dream that I had not too long before I wrote this letter. It was a dream in which I had to choose whether to save myself from some sinister threat, or to save my family first. You may remember this dream; I am at my grandparents’ front door, desperately ushering my family out into the safety of the woods next-door beacse there are explosives placed all around the house by some kind of evil entity. I did in-fact choose to help them all get out first before myself, and as I am waiting for the last one to get out I realize that I may die there. It is at this point that I realize that this good deed will get me into heaven (or atleast that’s what I tell myself, I know it not to be true in the real world), and this is the first time that I have even toyed with the notion that such a place even exists. I then speak to God, begging forgiveness for all of the wrongs that I have commited against Him, and I hear His voice say “no prob.” I woke up the next morning before actually finishing the dream, but I somehow feel that I have been cleansed somehow. Could this be an act of God, planted in my mind? Who knows, all that you need to know is that I would like to believe in His presence, but I am either too intelligent or too ignorant to do this. As far as organized religion goes, that can go to hell.

I guess I was a bit angry then… my views have changed quite a bit, but those details are something I choose not to share right now. Look for more this week. For those who are actually reading this (to touch upon what I said as I opened this post) I am grateful to have you with me as I climb this mountain, my dreams waiting at the top.

Here is the second part of my letter to myself… there is still one part left, and I will leave that sad part for another time. Here is the second portion:

…Drug use is a tender subject with me, Earl. By the time that this letter reaches you, I hope that you have quit smoking and drinking, but I have my doubts. I hate drugs at this time, and not just the really bad ones that I have never tried, but the cigarettes and the alcohol as well. Now let’s pretend that Scott C. helped me, or anybody in my sixth grade class during D.A.R.E education… because he didn’t. I rather got more of an understanding of the cancer sticks and happy juice that I now succumb to consuming, and that didn’t scare me in the least. I hate all drugs, but at the same time I love them… this may sound indecisive, but it is the case with me as a senior in high school. When it comes to drugs, I don’t know what to think… if you consume them, and yet you say you hate them, can you not be called a hypocrite?

Beauty… beauty… what is the meaning of the word? The dictionary defines it as “very pleasing or delightful to look at.” This is not very helpful because in this case beauty can be a word placed on anything. A cat or a dog can be beautiful to somebody. So, going on this, I would have to say that at this time I love beauty because it is whatever I want it to be. My poster of John Belucci on the wall of my room is beautiful, the music that I listen to is also beautiful, and the computer that I sit at right now, typing this letter, is also beautiful. My stance with beauty is that it is a good thing, and is necessary to have in a life that you are content with.

My attitude toward religion, Earl, is the most dramatic of all…

Part Three comes later, friends!

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