In a successful attempt to remind myself why I never log on to foxnews.com, I found the following story… something that only Fox would print/post. While Cnn and Msnbc are out following insignificant stories surrounding this “War in Iraq” thing (what is that anyway?), Fox sets the standard for quality journalism by reporting on the stories that truly matter… (Fox News truly makes me want to kill myself the president of Fox News)
Taken from foxnews.com:
Pillow-fights are no longer reserved for pajama parties and pre-teen girls. Now, adult women are getting involved, and it’s getting serious.The Pillow-Fight League is the newest spectator sport to take Toronto by storm, Reuters reported.
Ever since its inception early last year, the league’s events, where women attack each other with pillows, have been drawing big crowds and raking in big money.
The league was the brainchild of Stacey Case, a 38-year-old T-shirt printer and musician.
Case got the idea when he went to see a burlesque troop, and when the group broke out into a pillow fight, women from the audience stood up to join them.
“It was really, really fun, and really funny that they were actually fighting for real. I woke up the next day, and I was like, “Oh my God, that was awesome,” he said.
After placing some local ads, Case and friends were booking events, and the league soon grew into having 22 fighters, a big fan base and lots of ambition.
…okay, now picture me sitting in front of my computer, completely absorbed in this piece. My mouth is wide open… I’m hanging on every word. A pillow-fight league. Why didn’t anyone think of this before?! Apparently we lack the intelligence and creativity to even fathom such an idea. People like Stacey Case… a person with such an advanced harness of the english language that he can use the word “really” three times in once sentence is the genius that we’ve been waiting for. It was really, really fun, and really funny… spoken like a true t-shirt printer/musician. This guy should just stand up and do what he was truly (really) born to do: re-write Strunk and White’s “Elements of Style.” Show us how to use our words gooder.
Enough of that. I got a bit side-tracked from my original point, and that is that Fox News is the only place (aside from various blogs written by losers… um…) that you could find something like this. The above article was proudly displayed in the “Only on Foxnews.com” section! Damn… these guys sure know where to dig up their exclusives. No wonder Condoleeza Rice (sp? I don’t care) identifies Fox as her favorite news network… next thing we know the biggest news story coming out of the UN will be concerning sanctions against Stacey Case for not allowing inspectors to check out his pillow stockpile. Yeah… it’s a bad joke, but I’m not really joking. Think about that.
I’ve been finding many, many interesting articles on msnbc.com and cnn.com lately that have found their way here to be bashed. Not one of them has both amused and pissed me off this much. Yes, people are entitled to their own opinions, but when they choose to voice them in the manner that Michael Ventre does in the following article it makes you wonder why people like him are hired as staff writers for major news websites. I’ll let you read the snippets below before I go on my rant.
Taken from msnbc.com:
As the saying goes, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” This, of course, is a reference to those who don’t believe in a higher power, a spiritual being; often at times of crisis, in life and death moments, such individuals quickly become converts.
Granted, the beliefs of others are none of my business. But at a time like this, it’s important to reach out to everyone. Whether it’s a holy and divine being, or the fates, or karma, or a spirit that binds all of mankind in the pursuit of one unifying purpose, it’s vital that all human beings come together with strength and unwavering faith — including the skeptics and pagans — to rid our existence of a relentless and horrible menace.
Please, please, don’t let the Patriots get to another Super Bowl.
On the surface, it may not seem that important. But it is. If the New England Patriots defeat the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC championship game on Sunday, it will unleash a wave of boredom and annoyance that could reach biblical proportions. Men and women alike will gaze at their TV screens and groan, “Not again!” Youngsters will liken it to getting liverwurst sandwiches every day for lunch. Scholars will observe that Bill Belichick maintained an iron grip on power, the longevity of which is rivaled only by that of Fidel Castro.
Let me first point out a part in Ventre’s piece that made me laugh out loud: including the skeptics and pagans… pagans would likely fall into the “skeptics” catgory, yet this moron felt the need to single them out directly. Another part that just screams “I’m a dumbass,” came right off the bat when he likened the idea of the Patriots going to the Super Bowl to a time of crisis and a life or death moment. The last part that I just had to mark up in bold is his “boredom and annoyance that could reach biblical proportions” comment… I don’t have to point out just how moronic that sounds. Writing like this does little to convince me that it is necessary to drop down on my knees and beg God to keep the Pats from making it to the Super Bowl. I don’t think that I need to take any more time pointing out how ridiculous it is that this guy is marrying religion to football…
Where the hell is this country going? Christ, this sport really is becoming a religion of sorts to millions of people! I enjoy football just as much as any other person, but I’m not OBSESSED with it. It’s just a game! When I think about how much ad revenue is collected from Super Bowl commercials it makes me want to throw up. Blech…
If the Patriots make it to the Super Bowl it will be because they have earned it, and to say that they have no right to go there again sounds more like the whining of an idiot whose favorite team lost earlier on in the season. Michael Ventre, I salute you *puts up middle fingers to computer monitor*.
One last thing: GO PATS!
Read the full article here, though I would advise against it because you risk lowering your own intelligence with every sentence read.
Image taken from worldofwarcraft.com (unrelated to the following article)
Taken from msnbc.com:
SINGAPORE – A Singaporean teenager who illegally tapped into a neighbor’s wireless Internet network — an offense the city-state deems punishable by jail — was placed on 18 months’ probation by a district court Tuesday.
The court also ordered Garyl Tan Jia Luo, 17, to carry out 80 hours of community service after he admitted linking his computer to his neighbor’s wireless router to access the Internet without permission.
Tan could have been jailed up to three years and fined US$6,500.
Senior District Judge Bala Reddy cited a probation report as saying Tan had been addicted to Internet gaming at the time of the offense, adding the teenager had “few friends, if not none.”
Reddy said Tan should seek “disciplined and structured psychiatric and psychological intervention” to cure his addiction.
Tan is the first Singaporean to have been prosecuted and convicted for tapping illegally into a wireless Internet network, an offense under the Computer Misuse Act, according to Tan’s lawyer, Sam Koh.
A second Singaporean is currently facing 60 charges of illegally accessing wireless Internet networks.
…oooookaaaaay. Listen, I have alot of respect for foreign cultures, but when things like this pop up I just can’t help feeling a bit of doubt in the way some of them govern themselves. It’s not as if I personally could run it better, but I do think it’s really lame to have a law stating that tapping into a neighbor’s wireless network is an offense that can land someone in jail. Why do I feel this way? Well, I for one have a wireless network at home (a pretty badass one, but I’m not going to boast… too late), and I have the common sense to secure it with password protection. It’s not very difficult. If somebody is going to have a wireless network set up in their home without password protecting it, they should be held liable for what happens when people tap into it. It’s ridiculous to create laws that protect stupidity… how else are we going to flush out the morons that have poisoned the gene pool? (Thank you, Darwin Awards)
Oh, if you’re wondering about why I choose to put a picture from World of Warcraft up above, I have a two-part response:
1) The kid who tapped into his neighbor’s wireless network used the access for online gaming.
2) The World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade expansion pack comes out today! Embrace addiction and buy the damned game!
WASHINGTON (Reuters) — The keepers of the “Doomsday Clock” will likely move its hands forward next Wednesday to reflect what they call “worsening nuclear (and) climate threats,” to the world.
The symbolic clock, maintained by a magazine called the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, is currently set at seven minutes to midnight, with midnight marking global catastrophe.
The group plans to publicly adjust the clock this Wednesday.
Though the group has not specifically said so, all indications are that they will move the clock hands closer to midnight.
“The major new step reflects growing concerns about a ‘Second Nuclear Age’ marked by grave threats, including: nuclear ambitions in Iran and North Korea, unsecured nuclear materials in Russia and elsewhere, the continuing ‘launch-ready’ status of 2,000 of the 25,000 nuclear weapons held by the U.S. and Russia, escalating terrorism, and new pressure from climate change for expanded civilian nuclear power that could increase proliferation risks,” said a news release from the group.
The clock was last pushed forward by two minutes to seven minutes to midnight in 2002 amid concerns about the proliferation of nuclear, biological and other weapons and the threat of terrorism.
When the clock was created by the magazine’s staff in 1947, it was initially set at seven minutes to midnight and has been moved 17 times since then.
It was as close as two minutes to midnight in 1953 following U.S. and Soviet hydrogen bomb tests, and as far away as 17 minutes to midnight in 1991 after the superpowers reached agreement on nuclear arms reduction.
I’ve always been a supporter of the relentlessly optimistic Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, and I have to say that, once again, these guys are reassuring me that the world will remain a peaceful place to live forever. Sarcasm aside, I have always had an obsessive interest in the Doomsday Clock just because of its overall pointlessness. The clock exists as a visual aid for people who I can only identify as Apocalyptic Weathermen. Sure, things are pretty bad right now, and we are approaching what could be a nuclear crisis, but c’mon here! The Doomsday Clock accomplishes nothing more than forcing hopeless negativism on the people of the world. I’ll say that I am a sucker for the dramatic, and I love the whole “countdown to midnight” thing for its dark nature. If it existed in a work of fiction I feel that it would be a bit more aptly placed, but such a thing shouldn’t pop up in the real world. People are terrified enough as it is.
That all said… I completely agree with them for moving the hand closer to midnight.
[Update] Looks like my prediction that they would move it to 11:55 was 100% correct. Today the Doomsday Clock was moved forward to five minutes ’til midnight. Damn, I’m good.
I just love it when things like this come to my attention. This is just another one of those videos that speaks for itself. Celebrities with substance abuse problems are always good for a laugh… except for Mel Gibson, he’s just a moron.
Over the last few days I’ve been frantically searching for something quirky enough for a new post. I’m just going to come right out and say that the butt and penis tulips were starting to get to me… every time I opened up the internet I found myself staring at some guys printed ass-and-shlong, and there is only so much of that a person can take. I’m glad to have knocked that post down a bit.
On to the point of this one. As the picture above tells us, Palestinians aren’t too worried about paying $1.50 (adjusted to US dollars) to place their child next to a potentially dangerous predator. Don’t they get cnn out there? I would like to think that we all took a little something away from what happened to poor Roy (of Sigfried and Roy) a while back; lions are lions, regardless of how domesticated they may be. Primal instincts can take over, and before you know it your cute little boy is being eviscerated by Nala from the Lion King. People can be so stupid sometimes… but not that little boy, he knows exactly what he should be doing in the presence of a lioness: cry for mom and dad. I would do the same, but my son would likely be all cool with it. He’d probably go as far as to pull on the animal’s ears and shout, “bad girl, not your toy” at it. He’s just good like that.
RICHMOND, Va. – An art teacher whose off-hours work as a so-called “butt-printing artist” became widely circulated among high school students has been fired.
Murmer, a teacher at Monacan High School, was suspended in December after objections were raised about his private abstract artwork, much of which includes smearing his posterior and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas.
Okay… I’m all for abstract art (just ask my wife, it’s my favorite art form), but when you’re doing something this abstract it’s probably not a good idea to tell your students about it. Perhaps this Murmer fellow didn’t intentionally divulge information about his so-called “nocturnal activities,” but he surely could have been a bit more careful in keeping his private life more private. Example? Keep videos of himself making this art off of youtube! If I find that video it will be posted here… make no mistake. It’s really not a safe thing for me to search for here at work though. Look for it by tomorrow.
Yes, I think his firing was justified… things like this are a distraction that the youth of today don’t need.
…I’ll probably add more to this post later, but for now I’ll leave it as it is for discussion. Read the full article here.
Anybody who remembers the show knows exactly where I’m going with this post just from reading the title alone. I don’t know what it is, but I have had a great time re-living different parts of my childhood on youtube over the last few weeks… atleast the parts where I was vegging out in front of the television. Hmmmm… that must have been alot of time. I’VE WASTED MY LIFE!
Yeah, I know that I’m a lame ass, and I’ll get to the point here. You Can’t Do That on Television was a sketch-comedy show done by kids on Nickelodeon back before the network really started to suck. It really pushed the limits of what good Christian parents wanted their kids watching, and if your house was anything like mine your parents refused to let you watch the damned program. That was one of the reasons I found it so appealing… if I could successfully sneak 22 minutes of forbidden, sinful, and highly entertaining television I was in heaven (yes, I see the irony behind that statement)! It was the same scenario when Beavis and Butthead came on the air in my pre-teen years, but atleast I can find that show on DVD… YCDToT has yet to come out in that format.
After doing up a search on youtube I found more episodes than I would ever expect. I’ve placed one of them below. Those of you who never watched the show will get nothing from viewing it, but those who have will surely be treated to something very special. If you want more just visit youtube and do a search. The video below is only 1/3 of the actual episode it was taken from. I could have gotten the whole thing, but that would sacrifice quality… and I don’t do that. You know where to find the rest. Enjoy!
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