Earl Yorke

…I hope that you all have enjoyed this as much as I have…

My one true love is writing, but second to that comes music. Though I am unable to play any instrument other than the jug, I listen to music religiously. Owning over 200 compact discs I am never without music playing when alone or entertaining friends. Alternative is my favorite music genre. Unfortunately I am still awaiting the “return of rock.” Right now the music scene is dominated by fairy boy-bands like the Backstreet Boys and N’sync… I want to vomit. My favorite bands of all time are “The Dandy Warhols,” “Marilyn Manson,” “Letters to Cleo,” and “Dido.” These are four very different bands, yet they all help me in my life.

My ambitions are as follows:

*TO BECOME A PUBLISHED NOVELIST
*TO GRADUATE COLLEGE

The only two fears that I can think of that I have are:

*ARACHNOPHOBIA (FEAR OF SPIDERS)
*BUSOPHOBIA (FEAR OF LETTING OTHERS DRIVE YOUR CAR)

Though I have not necessarily discussed much with you in this letter, Earl, I feel that the topics that I did discuss were very important and the most worthy of your attention in ten years. See you then.

Sincerely,

Earl Yorke
Age 19
YHS Senior

Well… that’s it. Comment if you wish. I have let you all into my soul on this one… the letter was meant only for me to read.

Mwa ha ha ha… will it ever end? Not in this entry, but definately… maybe in the next one! I think that this next part is my favorite one off all. It addresses my writing back then! I’m not going to blab on about it for too long as I am excited to get it up on here, but know that I am very happy that this portion is finally making it onto the site.

Jeff, I hope that you can appreciate this as well. Back to the letter:

I am sad to say that I have very few strengths right now in my life, Earl. My ability to express my thoughts in fictional works of literature is probably the most important of the few that I do have. Ezeth, my most favorite character in any of my manuscripts is the most significant example of this ability. He is my dark side, he is my evil, he is my anger, and he is the side of me that others seldom see. It is through Ezeth that I am able to show myself that I can be in touch with my own dark side and that I can co-exist with it in some variety of equilibrium. Ezeth is my strength, he is the writer within me; without that all I would have would be my bitterly honest personality which, like my books, tends to upset people quite frequently… but you and I both know that I love it!

While I have few strengths, Earl, my weaknesses are numerous. The most significant of all of these weaknesses is the intensity of my emotions, which can sometimes have bad effects on my mental stability. I seem to always feel bad right now, and this is not a very good thing. It is a feeling that I get in my chest that is so intensely uncomfortable that it feels like someone is driving a railroad spike into my heart. I get this feeling of anxiety when something unexpected (and almost usually undesirable) happens. I’d have to say that my other weakness is my addiction to cigarettes, but I don’t need to go into detail with that to convince you of how bad it is.

My one true love is writing…

There isn’t too much left, but I’ll save it for another night. As always I thank those of you who have joined me in my jouney… it is your support that keeps me going, and I could never have gotten this far without you. You know who you are… you are anyone who is reading this now. By the way, if you happen to be new here, and don’t know who Ezeth is… go ahead and click on his name above if you are open-minded. Welcome to my family.

Okay, not to toot my own horn here, but this letter that my mother found is the coolest thing I’ve ever read! It’s like a look into the life of a best friend that I had parted ways with long ago… I’m going to drag this post series on for atleast two more entries! Sorry if you’re excited to see the way it closes right away, but I seriously doubt that there are many people that are reading this anyway! Here we go (*open mind*):

My attitude toward religion, Earl, is the most dramatic of all. I teach a Catechism class at Saint Christopher’s Catholic church, I have read the bible cover-to-cover twice, my grandmother is very religious, and yet I have trouble believing in God. I would like to recall a dream that I had not too long before I wrote this letter. It was a dream in which I had to choose whether to save myself from some sinister threat, or to save my family first. You may remember this dream; I am at my grandparents’ front door, desperately ushering my family out into the safety of the woods next-door beacse there are explosives placed all around the house by some kind of evil entity. I did in-fact choose to help them all get out first before myself, and as I am waiting for the last one to get out I realize that I may die there. It is at this point that I realize that this good deed will get me into heaven (or atleast that’s what I tell myself, I know it not to be true in the real world), and this is the first time that I have even toyed with the notion that such a place even exists. I then speak to God, begging forgiveness for all of the wrongs that I have commited against Him, and I hear His voice say “no prob.” I woke up the next morning before actually finishing the dream, but I somehow feel that I have been cleansed somehow. Could this be an act of God, planted in my mind? Who knows, all that you need to know is that I would like to believe in His presence, but I am either too intelligent or too ignorant to do this. As far as organized religion goes, that can go to hell.

I guess I was a bit angry then… my views have changed quite a bit, but those details are something I choose not to share right now. Look for more this week. For those who are actually reading this (to touch upon what I said as I opened this post) I am grateful to have you with me as I climb this mountain, my dreams waiting at the top.

Well, I’ve taken a position at Arista Lending Solutions in Dover, New Hampshire. Mistake or good move…?

GOOD MOVE!!!

This place is great! I have so much more flexibility with the deals I work up now that I have moved into brokering. Although it’s only been a few days since I started, after talking to many of the senior Loan Officers here I have discovered that the rewards ($) from this job are much better than what I was getting at my previous place of employment.

Don’t get me wrong here; I’m not bashing the lender that I worked for prior to coming here. They were great to me, and I owe alot to them. Still, we all must grow, and this is where my path in life is taking me. Anyone who visits this site regularly will know that I am a firm believer in destiny, and that our paths lay before us with everything happening for a reason. Mine has brought me to Arista …

One more thing before I finish here… don’t think that I’ve forgotten to post the third portion of my letter to myself… look for it later this week!

[Update 11.29.2006] Now that I’m not working for Arista anymore I’m just going to come right out and say that the wording on this post was quite different when I first put it up. They discovered it online and made me change it! LOL! What a bunch of paranoid people… making the author of an insignificant blog (as of right now) change a post that did nothing but make them look good. I’ll just say this, you can believe whatever you want in what I wrote above, but know that I only stayed at that place for four months. It was my decision to leave… do the math.